Spanish Greetings
Spanish Greetings: Besos, Handshakes & When to Use Each
Master Spanish greetings with confidence. Learn when to use the dos besos, handshakes, and how to navigate social situations in Spain.
Why Spanish Greetings Confuse Foreigners
Few things cause more anxiety for newcomers to Spain than the simple act of greeting someone. Do you shake hands? Go in for kisses? How many? Which cheek first? The uncertainty can make social situations feel like navigating a minefield.
The truth is that Spanish greetings are wonderfully warm once you understand the unwritten rules. First impressions matter deeply in Spanish culture, and getting the greeting right sets the tone for everything that follows. Spaniards are generally forgiving of foreigners' mistakes, but learning the basics will help you feel confident and make genuine connections.
Unlike the often reserved approach in northern Europe, Spanish greetings involve physical contact and genuine warmth. This reflects the importance of personal relationships in Spanish society. Understanding Spanish culture and lifestyle starts with mastering these daily interactions.
The Two-Kiss Greeting Explained
The dos besos (two kisses) is Spain's signature greeting. Despite what it sounds like, you're not actually kissing the other person's cheeks. Instead, you touch cheeks lightly while making a kissing sound. Think of it as a cheek-to-cheek air kiss.
The sequence is always the same: start with your right cheek touching their right cheek, then move to the left. This means you both naturally lean to your right first. If you go left first, you'll end up in an awkward face-to-face collision.
Who Uses Besos
Women greeting anyone, men greeting women, friends, family, and acquaintances meeting socially
Which Cheek First
Always start with your right cheek to their right cheek, then move to the left side
The Contact
A light cheek touch and air kiss sound, not an actual kiss on the skin
When to Use
Social situations, meeting friends of friends, being introduced at parties, visiting someone's home
The dos besos is used between women in almost all situations, and between men and women in social contexts. Men greeting other men typically shake hands instead, unless they're close friends or family, in which case a hug or even besos might occur.
Age matters too. Younger generations are often more casual and may greet with just a wave or verbal greeting among close friends, while older Spaniards tend to follow traditional etiquette more closely.
When Handshakes Are Expected
Handshakes in Spain are reserved primarily for formal and professional situations. If you're meeting someone in a business context for the first time, a handshake is the safe choice. This applies to job interviews, meetings with professionals like lawyers or estate agents, and formal introductions.
Use a Handshake
Use Dos Besos
Spanish handshakes are firm but not crushing. A limp handshake may be perceived as disinterested or weak, while an overly strong grip comes across as aggressive. Aim for confident and warm, with eye contact and perhaps a slight smile.
Interestingly, professional relationships in Spain often transition to besos surprisingly quickly. After meeting a colleague or business contact a few times, the greeting typically becomes warmer. Don't be surprised if someone who shook your hand last month now goes in for besos.
Common Mistakes and How to Recover
Even after living in Spain for years, greeting mishaps happen. The key is knowing how to handle them gracefully. Spaniards understand that foreigners find this challenging, and awkward greeting moments are usually met with good humour rather than offence.
Going In Too Early
Don't initiate besos with someone you've only just met in a formal context. Wait for them to lead, or stick with a handshake. If in doubt, let the other person make the first move.
Being Too Distant
Standing back stiffly or avoiding physical contact can come across as cold. Spaniards are tactile, and maintaining distance may seem unfriendly. Lean in when greeted warmly.
Wrong Cheek Collision
If you accidentally go for the wrong cheek, just laugh it off and adjust. A simple 'perdona' (sorry) and a smile fixes everything. It happens to everyone.
Forgetting the Second Kiss
Don't stop after one cheek—always complete both sides. Stopping at one leaves the other person hanging awkwardly. Two kisses, always.
When uncertain, the best strategy is to follow the other person's lead. Watch their body language as you approach. If they extend a hand, shake it. If they lean in with their cheek, go for the besos. Most Spaniards will make the first move, giving you a clear signal.
Regional differences exist too. In some areas, particularly in Catalonia, greetings can be slightly more reserved. In Andalucía and other southern regions, expect extra warmth, longer conversations, and possibly a hug added to the besos for people you know well.
Embrace Spanish Warmth
Understanding Spanish greetings is about more than avoiding awkwardness—it's about connecting with a culture that values personal relationships above all else. The dos besos is a daily reminder that human connection matters, that taking a moment to genuinely acknowledge someone is important.
Don't overthink it. After a few weeks in Spain, these greetings become second nature. You'll find yourself naturally leaning in for the besos, knowing instinctively when to shake hands, and feeling the warmth that comes with being part of Spanish social life.
The best advice? Relax, smile, and let the other person guide you when you're unsure. Spaniards appreciate the effort, and your willingness to adapt shows respect for their culture. Before long, you'll be greeting like a local.
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